Not too long ago, a parent said to me,
“We’re doing exactly what everyone told us to do… and it still feels inadequate.”
That sentence lingered.
Because most parents aren’t careless.
They’re just following advice that’s been passed down for years…sometimes decades.
The problem isn’t effort.
It’s that the advice hasn’t kept up with the world we’re living in.
There are three realities I’ve seen again and again as students move through high school, college, and into adulthood.
They’re often misunderstood.
And they quietly hold students back from reaching their potential.
Not because families don’t care, but because no one ever reframed the rules.
Reality #1: We overemphasize the college diploma.
Getting into college has become the main event for high school students.
Applications.
Essays.
Test scores.
Rankings.
All of that matters, but it’s been elevated to something it was never meant to be.
A diploma is a tool.
It’s not a plan.
When the entire focus is on admission, students can do everything “right” and still feel unprepared for what comes next.
Reality #2: We underemphasize self-awareness and the field of study.
This one surprises parents the most.
The field a student chooses matters more today than it did even ten years ago.
Not because one major is “better,” but because today’s world rewards clarity more than ever.
Students who understand how they’re wired, how they solve problems, learn, and contribute, make stronger choices.
They don’t just pick a major.
They position themselves.
Without self-awareness, college becomes expensive exploration with no compass.
Reality #3: Many colleges aren’t built to guide life after graduation.
This isn’t a knock on colleges.
It’s a design issue.
Most institutions are optimized for academics, not career clarity.
Advisors rotate.
Career centers are stretched thin.
And students are expected to figure things out on their own.
Parents assume guidance is baked in, but often, it isn’t.
Here’s the analogy I keep coming back to.
Remember the telephone game?
A message gets passed along from person to person, slowly changing along the way.
When it comes to preparing students for the future, we’re playing the opposite game.
The advice hasn’t changed, even though the world has.
We’re giving 2026 students guidance designed for a much different economy.
What students actually need is updated direction.
Not fear.
Not pressure.
Not a perfect plan.
They need help channeling their energy toward what matters now, and away from the landmines that don’t show up until later.
Here’s the reframe that I’d like for you to consider.
The goal isn’t to abandon college. It’s to re-order the priorities.
Direction before acceleration
Self-awareness before specialization
Preparation before credentials
When students understand these realities, they make better decisions with less stress.
They don’t just move forward. They move forward intentionally.
A few parting thoughts :
College works best when it serves a plan, not when it’s asked to create one
Self-awareness is a skill, not a personality trait
The right guidance early prevents regret later
Students don’t need louder voices or scarier headlines.
They need clearer lenses.
When we adjust how we help students see the path, we give them a better chance to walk it well.