A parent said something to me recently that stuck.
“We’ve done everything we’re supposed to do… and I’m still not sure it’s enough.”
I hear versions of that sentence all the time.
AP classes.
Tutors.
Test prep.
College lists.
Endless stress.
And underneath it all, a quiet fear:
What if we do all this…and they still feel lost?
Here’s the invisible problem most parents don’t realize they’re caught in.
We’ve built an entire system around getting into college
and almost no system around knowing what to do once you’re there.
There are hundreds of books on applications, essays, and admissions strategy.
Very few on how a student figures out who they are, what they’re good at, and where they’ll actually thrive.
That imbalance matters.
Because college isn’t the finish line anymore.
It’s just one stretch of the road.
Think of college like a powerful vehicle.
It can go fast.
It can go far.
It’s expensive to operate.
But without a destination, even the best car just burns fuel.
Most families fall into one of two camps.
Some obsess over the vehicle.
“If we get the right school, everything else will work out.”
Others avoid the whole conversation.
“Let’s just pick something and trust it’ll sort itself out.”
Both are understandable.
Neither works terribly well.
What’s changed, and why this matters more now than ever, is the terrain.
Artificial intelligence and automation are reshaping work faster than most parents realize.
Some roles are disappearing.
Others are being transformed.
New ones are emerging that didn’t exist five years ago.
This doesn’t mean panic.
It means precision.
The old advice of “pick any major, get any degree” worked in a slower world.
It doesn’t hold up in a faster one.
Students who understand themselves: their strengths, patterns, and natural abilities…
Have a massive advantage.
Not because they predict the future.
But because they can adapt to it.
What I see, over and over, is a preparedness gap.
Students graduate without a real plan because there was never a real plan to begin with.
Not a rigid path,but a framework.
They don’t lack intelligence.
They lack alignment.
In fact, more than half of students aren’t confident in their career direction when they start college.
And nearly two-thirds feel overwhelmed just choosing a major.
That overwhelm isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal that something has to change.
Most students were never taught how to connect who they are
to where they’re going.
Here’s the reframe I want you to think about:
College prep isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing the right things in the right order.
Self-understanding before specialization.
Direction before acceleration.
Clarity before commitment.
When those pieces come first, college finally does what parents hope it will do.
It becomes leverage, not just pressure or a rite of passage.
A few reminders worth sitting with:
Your child doesn’t need a perfect plan
Confidence comes from knowing themselves, not choosing early
College works best when it serves a direction, not when it’s asked to create one
Progress beats guessing every time
Most students don’t need more advice.
They need a better starting point.
And most parents don’t need to push harder.
They need a clearer way to guide.